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I've been to "Italy"

Remember the beautiful story about how when you are expecting a baby it is like planning a trip to Italy and when you have a child with ausitm it is like you end up in Holland?

So I live in "Holland." Even though I get to speak some "Italian" with my typical girl, my life still happens in Holland. I know everything there is to know about special education; special diets; treatments for autism. You name it.

But this week I visited a friend in New York and spent some time just by myself with her family. It was like a trip to "Italy." 

She is a very good friend and had always been a model mom to me. She is rasing 4 kids in New York City and enjoys every minute of it. When I used to live there I was stressed out a lot. (Maybe because I did not know yet what was different about my child. It was only after we left there that we got the diagnosis.)

But back to Italy.

In Italy nobody wakes up at 3 am for the day. You actually need to wake the kids up for school.

In Italy the kids get themselves ready for school. You don't even need to tell them. They get dresed by themselves.

In Italy you can make the same lunch for all 4 kids. There are no special diets or special requests.

In Italy the kids walk to school by themselves at ages 9 and 7. The younger ones go with you and listen to you and follow directions at all time.

It is so much easier in Italy!!

 

But yet I missed Holland.

And when I came back home I got the biggest hug from Dan. No words. Just hug.

And I knew that I would not ever want to switch.

 

 

Thank you my friend for the most wonderful 24 hours of culture and fun.

And for the perspective.

 

 

5 comments | Add a New Comment
1. Renee | May 19, 2011 at 01:50 PM EDT

Never mind living in different countries. Most of the time I think I am living in a different planet and I feel like an alien. Sometimes I day dream and think what would it be like if my son was not Autistic, life would be so easy. I could go just about anywhere without worrying whether or not my son was going to have a meltdown. However, even though I live on a different planet my son has made it a very special planet! And on this planet I know for sure how to never ever take anything for granted and the smallest things can mean the world! Thanks for your post Shirley.

PS- call me at 3am sometimes on our planet we are up :)

2. Gretchen | May 20, 2011 at 09:54 AM EDT

I too can totally relate. I have triplets. Two \"live in Holland and one in Italy,\" so I may just be trilingual! It is complicated and rarely easy, but like many other moms, I would not trade my children for any other. The rewards are not as obvious and don't always occur as often but are so worthwhile. Just recently Nicky drew a picture of the two of us hiking. He gave me \"big hair\" which I often wear (LOL) and our hands were touching. I need to get a frame and hang this on the wall because every time I see it or even think about it, my heart jumps! Gretchen

3. Shirley | May 20, 2011 at 02:40 PM EDT

Gretchen, you made me cry. Nicky is so amazing. There is no wonder why Dan loves him so much!

4. Rena Field | January 13, 2012 at 11:06 AM EST

I love that Gretchen! I hope that picture is in a frame by now!

5. Wade Lindsay Chartier | February 07, 2012 at 07:38 PM EST

I loved reading this! Thanks.

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