“God,” I said one morning last week, when nothing seemed to be going the way I wanted, “I usually spend my mornings thanking you for all the wonderful things you have given me, but today I can’t help but ask you: Why? Why me? Why do I have to face all this difficulty? Why can’t I get anything I want? Why is my life so hard?”
“Hard?” said God, “why what do you mean?”
“I mean why does it take me so long to get my book published? It’s such a good book and you know it. It should have been out there by now, hopefully a best-seller.”
"Oh did you finally send it out to publishers?!"
"Well, I'm talking to this agent and she mentioned it to some people..."
"You remind me of this guy," God said, "who keeps praying to me 'I wish to win the lottery please God,' but he never buys a ticket! How can I get your book out if people don't have your manuscript?"
"Once I send it out you'll make it big right?"
“My dear, everyone on your planet wants this: to be big. If I created every creature and plant big, you wouldn’t have flowers and grass. You would only have tall trees coming out of the ground. And there would only be elephants walking around. No birds and butterflies.”
"But there are some elephants out there. Please make my book an elephant! How soon can that happen?"
"What’s the rush?" God said, "You all want everything now. You can’t wait for anything. I’m very puzzled by this. You all know on a deeper level that time doesn’t matter. Before you come into this planet, I show you that. How everything actually exists at the same time, and “time” as you treat it is only an invention to organize your lives and nothing more. Yet you all forget this the moment you leave me and go there, and you get confused. Remember that everything you want you have already been granted. Just let things come to you on their own time.”
“God,” I asked after a pause, why does my boy still have autism? Why does he not talk yet? I‘ve done so much. I work so hard on getting him the right program at school. I get him the best therapy. I go through hoops to find the best doctors and the best treatments. I’ve done it all, yet he still has such a long way to go. Why, God?”
“Did you just hear yourself?” he asked me, “He still has a long way to go. I’ve been watching you do all those things, be sure I have. And I really applaud you. You are pretty amazing. I don’t know if I could do such a great job, really. But you are forgetting that this is only partly your journey and mostly his. You can’t ask me to do that: get involved with his progress, for you. It is a course that he chose before he came here. It’s not yours to touch. And you know,” he continued, “I’m still cracking up when I hear this word: ‘autism.’ What do those doctors even mean? They created this name and they treat it as if those beautiful children have an illness when all they really have is a gift of being open to higher levels of understanding. Do you know why there’s so many “cases of autism,” like you call it? Why the numbers keep growing? It’s because the people on your planet are evolving towards a better understanding of the universe. You are starting to be open to the greater wisdom, as opposed to being busy with a need to physically survive and fighting over pieces of land. The people are starting to understand that your planet is not the only one and that you are a part of something much greater. The children who take upon themselves the mission of teaching come here with “an illness” and by that they are awakening their environment. You better start seeing your son as a leader, instead of sick. Then you would not ask when his “sickness” would disappear. You will appreciate his knowledge and the task he took upon himself.”
“There is a big difference for me between having him labeled as “autistic” which I don’t mind that much anymore, and having to watch him suffer. You know how many times he is in pain and I can’t help him?
Why do I of all people have to sit there and watch my son suffer? I met my neighbor yesterday and she has five children and they are all healthy and normal. She just travels this earth in peace raising them! When they are at school she goes to community meetings and has coffee with friends. She entertains all the time. Why not me?!”
“Now you are bringing back history again. Remember when you were about to come to this planet and we were browsing possible paths for you? I told you that I cannot guaranty what exactly you will get but you can make a few wishes about the life you are about to experience. Remember what you told me? You said: just not boring. Whatever you do, I do not want a boring life. And here you are. Are you really honestly telling me you would want to have your neighbor’s life instead of yours? Would you be able to raise five children and not have your own career, goals, … life?!”
I thought for a minute and then said quietly: “You know my answer to that. No. I prefer this. But why can’t my goals and career happen already? I am working so hard. I spent so much time writing this book and revising it and then revising it again. Why can’t my voice be heard? Why can’t I get it published? Why can’t I go on TV or something to promote it? Why, God?”
“If all of your people were on the stage, who would be there to watch?”
“But it makes me sad to work so hard and wait so long. It’s like a rain that never ends and I am forced to sit inside and never come out.”
“Rain is not bad,” said God, “I created it in order to water the flowers and trees. Have you noticed how bright and lively they look after the rain? It is a good thing to rest and nourish oneself. Afterwards, things actually grow better and higher.”
“But why not grow faster?”
“That again?” God laughed, “If I would remove the dirt and pull those seeds that I have just planted, to make them grow faster, I would destroy them. I need to water them with rain and wait. So do you.”
“How about some perspective?” he added, “You have a roof over your head. You are never hungry, unless you go on one of those stupid diets of yours because you don’t trust that I made you beautiful enough. More than half the population on your planet don’t have a roof and food whenever they want.”
“I get it,” I said slowly, “I really do. You taught me so much today.”
“Look, I got to go,” he said, “but I promise: your things are coming.”
“Ok,” I said, “but please hurry, God!”